Thursday, September 23, 2010

Two Bodies


Two bodies, meshing, sweat on sweat, hands sliding down sleek arms and strong backs. Music pumping, blaring, each beat pulsating, pushing two forms together until they blur into one gyrating soul. A mixture of nail polish, combat boots, tight dark denim and tattoos, brightly dyed hair and body piercings…….The darker side of life.



Two bodies, arm in arm, stumbling to the bar, contagious laughter, tone deaf singing, and good friends. Music caressing, UFC playing in the background, subtle flirtations, sexual innuendos mixed with liquid courage. Beer flowing, secrets spilling and comfortable camaraderie…….The laid back side of life.



Two bodies, curled into each other, warm under covers, in front of a tv, in a big bed, standing in a kitchen. Eyes meeting, lips locking, toes touching as bodies become one. Hearts melting, butterflies soaring, dreams developing into a world of us, leaving behind solitary you and solitary I…..The loving side of life.



Two bodies, watching tv, sharing dessert, a bottle of soda and the bathroom sink. Tickling, laughing, head on chest, heart in hand, side by side on the couch. Unlimited text, late night phone calls, drunk dials, clever chats and cab rides so you don’t sleep alone……The comforting side of life.



Two total opposite sides of life. Each with its own merits, and short comings. “Never will I be that girl that is tamed by love and leaves her wildness behind, never!” Until the day I found that the two could be combined; the living and the loving. I’ve had the two separately and together, I’ve had it all……and lost it.



I’ve sworn that I am happier when free of all ties that bind, so why is it that at night as I lie alone, I dream of being two bodies again, instead of solitary you, and solitary I?

Monday, September 13, 2010

Mended.


there's an alarming clarity that comes with clearing out cobwebs... there's a moment when you empty the dustpan into the trash and tie the bag so no spiders or silky web sneaks out, that is so liberating. what does this mean? I am almost healed. I am bandaged enough now that I am moving on, breaking free of the broken woman he created and grasping, fully, the strong, independant, loving woman that I can be. I'll not let Speedy the Spiderboy ruin what I have become;ruin my chance of finding something real. I'll not give him the pleasure of thinking he has destroyed my hippy heart.

I am on the mend, on the move and on the make. I am sharing a little piece of me with something wonderful. I am twirling in a circle with my arms stretched out, staring at the clouds and just being...No fear of falling, no fear of the landing. I am taking that chance... I deserve it. My heart deserves it. I was not in the wrong. My wounds were NOT my doing so why should I feel the consequence of solitary confinement? I shouldn't.

So this is me singing at the top of my voice, "I am here, ready to be me again...Love me! I am worth it!